How can I even do anything?
See also: Starting ADHD Medication
As I’ve previously written about, I’m waiting for ADHD medication right now. I’m stuck in a transional period of my life. I’m finding out that I’m plural, I’m stuck trying to figure out how to get my first real job, I’m stuck trying to find real sustainable housing, et cetera.
One thing I’m trying to figure out is how I can possibly start looking for a job like this? I’m swimming in thoughts. I can’t stop thinking. There’s at least three of us in my brain, how can I try and focus any of us into job searching?
It doesn’t help that “finding a job” is such a nebulous task. The actual task of going onto e.g. LinkedIn and clicking apply on a job listing feels like the right thing to do, but it’s obviously not (given that we’ve been doing it fruitlessly for about nine months…) The ‘smarter’ solution is to go direct to the source, talk to the companies, impress them. But how am I supposed to do that with near-zero professional experience? Why would they take me over anyone else? Why should I even bother?
I’m terrible at managing myself. That’s just a fact of my life currently. I’m great at completing tasks assigned to me. I’m just sort of figuring out this ‘self care’ thing 22 years into existance. Whenever I try to self-impose a structure, I end up breaking it almost immediately.
Maybe I’m just not cut out for this stuff. Why can’t someone just do this all for me? That’s how it worked for most of my life. I don’t have the coping mechanisms for this.
obviously nobody’s going to do this all for you. you have to do this. we have to do this.
Sigh. We’re probably a few days from getting our first prescription, and then it will probably take a month or so for the titration process to settle on a good medication.